Book Walrus tried to make an end of year movie, but had a few problems with the technology (fat flipper-thumbs), so we thought we’d upload a transcript instead…
BOOK WALRUS: On New Year’s Eve, my beautiful girlfriend, Geek Girl’s Holly Smale …
JUNIOR WALRUSES: SHE’S NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!
BOOK WALRUS: Oh yes she is!
JUNIOR WALRUSES: OH NO SHE ISN’T!
BOOK WALRUS: Shhh! Fine. My future girlfriend, Holly Smale, sent me a note…
JUNIOR WALRUSES: OH NO SHE DIDN’T!
BOOK WALRUS: Okay, okay, maybe she sent it to everyone on Twitter, but I know she was talking especially to me – because she said we should all remind ourselves how much we rocked in 2013, and Book Walrus REALLY rocked.
JUNIOR WALRUSES: *roll eyes* Show off!
BOOK WALRUS: You want me to show off? Okay. BOOM! Book Walrus made over 1000 NEW TWITTER FRIENDS including my other two gorgeous girlfriends, Malorie Blackman and David Walliams.
JUNIOR WALRUSES: DAVID WALLIAMS ISN’T A GIRL!
BOOK WALRUS: Oh yes he is. He’s a lovely lady. What? He isn’t? Are you sure? Oooooh, moving swiftly on…
BOOK WALRUS: BOOM! We’ve had HALF A MILLION HITS on our website in 4 months. Our top performing posts were our review of ‘FORTUNATELY, THE MILK’, our ‘RECOMMENDED BOOKS FOR DYSLEXIC READERS’, and our interview with PHILIP ARDAGH – who is definitely not a girl. No, indeed. Book Walrus envies those incredible whiskers and considers Philip Ardagh an honorary whiskery walrus.
JUNIOR WALRUSES: Don’t forget, we’ve started a trend for Walrus-themed birthday cakes That is our biggest achievement.
BOOK WALRUS: Nom nom! We also supported BANNED BOOKS WEEK, DYSLEXIA AWARENESS WEEK and ROALD DAHL DAY. Plus, we’re currently organising SUPPORT-A-WALRUS LUNCHTIMES - although we’re struggling to find sponsors for that one.
JUNIOR WALRUSES: And we’ve loved every minute.
So, we wish you all a wonderously-whiskery, book-filled 2014
*Bang. Sparkle. Popping cork*